Game Summary - from Sponge Marley

What a night of excitement. First after a hardy dinner, I had to keep the oven on for a "Skate Bake". You want to talk about a cookie smell try an Easton smell. Its an aroma to die for. My can opener had a knife sharper but the skates wouldn't fit. Not to worry, Daddy Pat assured us The Man Frank would be there.
Well, we all know the outcome No-Patty, No-Frankie, Well, there's always next week.

In the locker room Dennis St. Dennis told us about his trip. Dennis also informed us about his National bar bill debt ($2k) from his trip. He talked about shaping skates part time. Liam said that position was already full. Brit was telling his new Hippie stay on my side and I'll show you the world. Capt'n Dan told Tooms, Brits new buddy would fall quicker then Brady Quinn. Crabby said, Quinns team has the Black Leprechaun? Six Pac screams aloud, "NO" Notre Dame now has a Gay Red Headed Step Child as the mascot. Russ then yells out, Yes the other 50%.

For the dark team. Shooter looked very strong on defense with Stevie. Six Pack loved the help. Jay and Big Murph displaced the light team around all night long. Brian teamed up with Capt'n Dan and made some awesome moves and scores. Digger and I, Well, just Digger made scores and assists. Both goalies were bang'n sticks all night long. Frustrations, for there short cumings. Adam and 15 looked like LSU dudes putting the squeeze on the Irish lads Rusty and Fricker.
For the light team. Crabby and Liam bustn' moves. Craskey was playing like all the Prendie girls wanted to spend the night with him after the game. Brit running the puck from end to end looking to pass to Liam. Liam caught Brits dog laying a big one on his yard it was pay back time. Johnny Long pants on De played a hell of a game, he passed to Chuckie often. We were waiting for long pants to give his ticket he just got in Lower Merion to Chuck. Johnny wanted Chuck to fix it, just like Johnny was trying to fix Chucks game.

The game went back and forth with some clowns putting the scores up on the white team. Shooter went back on offense (we knew he couldn't last the hole game on De) and score some goals with the assists from Tooms. Stevie was playing in hopes of getting a piece of ass in the plow truck. Don't forget the condom (Mystery alaska). Fricker back checked Brian to the ice. Straws said he just tossed his salad. The final score Brit losses Darkies WIN...

At the bar, Lower Merion finest talked about how they missed the nude black girl (AI's squeeze). Liam and Fricker, college life. Crabby, college Bills. Spongee the goal that got away. Rusty, talked to the new bar maid, man he's got a line of bull...
Go Birds Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Spongee

editor's note: this post broke the translator