NO SKATE THIS WEEK.

HAPPY NEW YEAR SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

-da Commish

Merry Christmas

and to all a good skate ... and oh yeah, boobies ;)

TWAS' THE SKATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas' the skate before Christmas & the building was stuffy,
Everyone was happy except for our Buffy.
While stressed out & busy with holiday chores,
She let it be known she would not be ignored.
The boy's shuffled in all ready to skate,
As we wondered out loud if Chuck would be late.
When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
Are these doors getting smaller or are we getting fatter?
Liam jumped from his locker & ran across the floor'
Straight down the rink & out of the door.
When what to his wondering eyes should appear,
Daddy Pat & Curty & two cases of beer.
Now on to the ice, there's a game to be played,
With goals to be scored & shots to be saved.
The teams would be chosen & the teams would be fair,
Get the puck to the Commish & your spot might be spared.
With Carl in his Snap On jersey & Tree in his net,
We were in for a night we might never forget.
The Dark team was loaded but not like the White,
They had talent & grit & their speed was just right.
I knew from the outset their team would be quick,
And I thought at the mid-point I might need a new stick.
They would need some encouragement to get the boy's flyin',
When White got to the bench, it would come from Quiet Brian.
On Timmy, on Fricker, on Shooter & Jay,
On Crabby, on Long Pants, should we let Trapper play?
These guys sure looked ready for passin' & shootin',
Frick & Brian told em' "TO HELL WITH THE GLUTEN'S".
Now we knew that the Dark side would be on the attack,
With Murph on the back line in front of Sixpack.
If J.D. & Rudy could stick to the plan,
We could have a good night & silence our Fan.
Cause these guys are quite good & can make you look silly,
They're skilled & they're fast especially that Billy.
When he reads this poem he may think I'm a homo
But who really cares he still looks like Tony Romo.
And of course we have Brit who plays with such pride,
Need the bathroom at his house? Just go look outside.
At the end of the night it doesn't matter who scored,
As long as we get our frosty reward.
But the real story here is about a child & his momma,
"Jesus Christ Almighty" Spongee exclaimed "They've elected OBAMA!"

In this holiday season I wish you and yours well,
And to all who have played in the TNHL.
May your time with you family be Happy & Holy,
Raise a toast to your loved ones & you favorite goalies!

WEEKLY UPDATE

Walking out into the wintry night the light coating of snow on my lawn looked like Shooter's hair, mostly white with hints of it's original color, a perfect night for hockey. The Dark team skated off with a close 8-6 win. The Darkies jumped out to an early lead as Curty caught fire notching a couple quick goals. Crabby would test Tree's new chest protector blasting a couple of big bombs up high, Tree turned them aside & settled down to have a nice game. Brit, Murph & Johnny Glutens all chipped in with goals for the dark, while Fricker & Shooter buzzed all night. Jaybird was also on top of his game, blocking shots & clearing the porch of rebounds.
The Whites were led by the high flying trio of Rudy, Chuck & Liam who each managed to get on the board. Spongee was his usual versatile self playing shifts on offense & defense, sometimes all at once. After falling behind early the White squad battled back to make it a one goal game, Tim & Tony Romo led the charge from the blue line but were turned away more times than not. This was due to to to Little Danny's magic leg pads. Quiet Brian was not on his game this past week, he had a gluten flash back this weekend & payed for it, while Rusty primed the pump at a Christmas party earlier in the day.
Curty did a nice job with the beer, with the official beer of the TNHL, LaBatt's with a side order of Harp. No milk carton update this week as I will be working on a poem.

No Frank Tonight!

Maybe next week

WEEKLY UPDATE

The boys were up on their skates last night so the pace was quick & the White squad skated away with a hard fought but lopsided victory. A tireless fore check effort from the Whites bottled up the Dark team most of the night, Quiet Brian & Chuck reeked havoc on the offensive side of the red line creating turnovers & clogging passing lanes. The Commish used his size & skills in front of the net & along the boards as well as in his own zone to frustrate the Darkies. There was plenty of talent on the blue line for the Whites as well, Tim & young Joe McCloskey quickly moved the puck through the neutral zone & scored their share of points along the way. Spongee did a solid job on "D" battling in his own end, if he couldn't stop em' he would chop em' leaving many bodies in his wake. Tree was on his game, bouncing back confidently allowing only four goals on the night, finally using his White Power Rangers super strengths stored in that new chest protector. The big stars on the night were Tony Romo who has eased back into form after battling some back issues & Rudy who left with a pocket full of points on the night.
The dark team hung tough throughout a rough night, we just couldn't seem to keep up any pressure in the White zone & when we did Tree was there to turn us away. Jaybird, Johnny Longpants , Murph & Rusty did all they could on defense under the constant pressure & Brit, Curty, Shooter & the Ref also pitched in but the Whites were too much.
This was a crazy night, I mean Rudy was at his best he literaly shot out the lights, picking corners, threading passes & shattering light bulbs above the Dark goal. Then he gets the Zamboni to clean the ice in front of the Dark net ala the old New England Patriots game winning Field goal. The play picked up after a short break but the Dark still came out on the short end of the next goal wins.
The Milk Carton list was long this week as Crabby was out with the tide, Daddy Pat was potty training, JD had made to many weeks in a row & was rubbing his groin, Fricker was out shopping for his Pollyanna gift & Liam was resting his liver after a Suddsy weekend. Even Frank was out with the flu, he will be on hand this Tuesday to sharpen skates.
Rudy did a nice job with the BEER LIST with two flavors available, the LaBatt's & Smithwick's were chilled to perfection. He also had a bag of little suasages although Im not so sure where he got them,but I think I found his supplier.

FRANK HAS THE FLU

Frank will not be able to sharpen skates tonight, he is down with the flu. He said he could be there next week if we need him. I say we shoot for next week.

WEEKLY UPDATE

The buzz you heard from The Springfield Ice Rink last night was coming from the White squads youngsters Shane Dunfee & Craig Hedricks, these two brought life to the rink with their speed & high skill level. But even with these two burners the Darkies were able to skate away with a hard fought victory despite a late White surge. The Dark squad were led by the veteran defense pairings of Crabby & Murph, & Crafty Craskey & the Hurricane Unger, their experience was to much for the youug stars. Murph & Crabby used physical play while Crafty & Carl tried to match their speed to do the job.
On offense, the Darkies were able to build a lead behind the typical unselfish play of Brit & the quick hands & feet of Curty Down Low. Quiet Brian & Gluten Johnny also had strong efforts posting points & working hard in their own zone. The Bonner Connection hooked up when Crafty sent a beautiful homerun pass on the tape of Quiet Brian while in full stride, QB made a nice deke to his backhand for the goal. The Darkies also welcomed the fresh legs of Liam at about 9:30, as usual he hustled up a good thirst & earned his sudsy reward.
The White squad followed the lead of the young guns & played the game in fast forward most of the night, swarming the zone & forcing good scoring chances. The Commish & Fricker had some quality chances but were turned away yet continued their strong fore check while battling back into the game. It looked for awhile like the Darkies would pull away but Tree would not allow that to happen as he settled his team down with some big saves, & JD was able to get them on the board & rolling. Soon after that "Tony Romo" & Johnny Long Pants turned up the heat from the back line joining Timmy C consistently jumping into the play. The result was a flurry of late goals to make the game close, but Dark was able to hang on until Brit scored to open the cooler. Shane Dunfee added a little more excitement when he almost took my head off with a blast from the slot which left a huge bruise on my collar bone, I sholud have ducked instead of jumping.
The milk carton gang for this week was
Rusty, taking his annual deer piss golden shower
Daddy Pat, working a little OT to pay for all those Christmas presents he has to get the Kids.
Jaybird & Chuck, off playing cops & robbers
Shooter, oiling his new hip
& Spongee, who was trying to buy tickets to next seasons Iowa/Minnesota football game.
Crabby did a nice job with the beers, cold LaBatts bottles & some nice CANS too.
Remember guys, here at the TNHL our standards are high, so up yours!