Yahoo Fantasy League

Guys, I have set up a fantasy hockey league on Yahoo. There are 18 spots, I figured the guys on tuesday night should be asked first. The league name is TNHL password: tuesday league #: 108191

http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/hockey/

Log on and sign up, to speed things up we will do an autodraft, you must rank your players before we can draft so we must be ready to go by thursday. League starts Monday Nov. 7. We can talk about money after we are up and running.

It's works out pretty well with the autodraft, after your team has been picked you can make up to 75 moves to adjust your roster. Sign up and I'll explain more on Tuesday night


Joe Sixpack

Things Men Need to Know About Women

from Maxim - Things Men Need to Know About Women

• Never trust a girl who has no friends. She doesn't get along with other women because she's either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
  
• Girls who say, "I love sports!" are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they're talking about, are not.
  
• If you get a girls number on a Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.
  
• Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you've ever had.
  
• Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.
  
• Over the course of her life, a women will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn’t get laid, you're one of the 10.
  
• The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing.
  
• On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
  
• At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
  
• She likes one of your friends.
  
• Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That's your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. J
  
• The one breakup line she'll never be able to argue you out of: "I'm sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you."
  
• You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about twelve.
  

Game 3 Summary

The darkies win the season opener in overtime despite Joe SixPack's stellar effort in goal. Spongee was -37 this week.

Week 3 - Lineup

Last week was a scrimmage this week is a official TNHL game! The mighty darkies will crush the crackers tonight who took advantage of our beloved Siv netminder last week deeking on him with a bad wheel. Not tonight, no sir come in the dark zone and you will pay the price. The Bonner connection done, Brians brother done, Sponge done, Siv-pack done!!!!

Official line-up:
Crackers= Brian's brother,
Patterson,Craskey,Dolan,Taylor,Montgomery,Kilgore,Fricker,Fury, McCloskey

Darkies= Crabby, Tree, ChuckeeCheese,Jay-bird,Dang, Billy, Daddy Pat( welcome back), Carl,Shooter and the Swiss Wall.

Yes, the "Iceman" (practice cone) Wilson called out sick for this week and next.

SCOREBOARD ON TONIGHT

Have a great day, Commish

Player Bio: Green Sneakers

Player Bio: Green Sneakers
Birth Date: About 22 years ago
Birth Place: Moose Knuckle, Saskatchewan
Education: OLPH, Lou Turks, and Delilahs

• Irish Coaching prospect (note the green shirt and green sneakers)
  
• Majored in the art of dancing, minored in crowd management
  
• Goes for a man with a beef combo stains on his shirt
  
• Limp Bizkit Groupie on weekends
  
• Has a twin sister
  
• Switch hitter
  
• Allergic to twinkies
  

Game 2 Summary

Our Capt'n Dan (LT. DANG) had this same problem tonight, trying to find "GREEN" Sneakers, or was it his Cherry like Joey suggested, I'm I right or wrong?
We all have our reasons!!!!!!! No problem, I say call # 15!!!!!!

Dark players lost 10 to 6. Dennis St. Dennis played hurt and still saw 2 on 0 coming at him!
Sorry Dennis Spongee -6 for the night. Chuck had the rest of the minus's. Yeah he's on Dee until he gets the puck then he's on Off.

Oh yeah guys we found Fricker with Twinkie, He could have played with her after the game.
Patterson's boys out of control shooting on Our goalies bad knee.

Daddy Pat had no problem being traded to the light side.
Crabby take it for here. Nice team picture. Thanks

-Spongee

Week 2 - Lineup

WHITE = Wilson,Patterson,Craskey,Dolan,Taylor,
Fricker,Doherty,Montgomery,Fury,McCloskey

DARKIES = Crabby,Shooter,Sponge,Tree,Jay, Chuck,
Billy, Dang,Carl, Dennis


Chuck we start at 10:15 at Springfield Ice Rink. If you need directions call the Commish.

Darkies lets welcome Six Pack back with a ass whoopin!

TNHL Team Photo

Skate Sharpening

Hello all Hockey players...and Dan. This year again we can have to convenience of having Frank "the skate sharpener" on site before Tuesdays skates. his fee is $5 a pair & I think most of you would agree he does a good job. However, he will only be there if we have a minimuim of 5 pairs of skates for him to do, else it is not fiscally worth it to him. So he is the deal...

If you need skates sharpened, e-mail me (Daddy Pat) by Monday morning 8 AM. If I have 5 or more request for skates, I will call Frank & set it up and send out an e-mail to let you know if he is coming or not. If not, he will not be there. Last year I had a few guys that would wait & e-mail or call on Tuesday afternoon. I'm not having that this year. It is not fair to Frank or me to scrample on the day of.

Since he was there before the Opening Night, I see no need for him this week, so this will go into effect for Tues 10/25. If you need skates done for that week e-mail me by Monday 10/24/05 @ 8 AM. I am sorry to dictate a hard deadline, but last year was a pain in the ass each week with last minute calls asking if Frank was going to be at the rink.

-Daddy Pat

Game 1 Summary

The Darkies win the first tilt of the new season. The issue was in doubt right up until Dennis "Darcy Tucker" St Dennis took out shooter in a desparate attempt make him pass the puck.

The most surprising news of the night was when we showed up at nick's and found women there. Geez, you go away for a summer and everything changes!

Spongee made a new friend last night. She curses like a hockey player on the white team. Fricker nicknamed her "Twinkie" after her favorite food group.

Player Bio: John "Milk Carton" Dunfee

Player Bio: John Dunfee
Birth Date: unknown
Education: Finnegan Comic, Mr. Microphone and accomplished drummer AKA; Johnny Longstick,

• heavy shot....drinker
  
• can go all night long (at the bar)
  
• Big Show player only plays playoff's or holiday Tuesday's.
  
• Usually come's late and half dressed.
  
• Loves to face Spongee head to head.
  
• Goes both ways (off the ice)
  

Player Bio: TNHL Cup Ringer

PLAYER BIO;Mick
born; Branford, Ontario
education; old school
thumb nail:

• disappers faster than a fart on the boardwalk
  
• hands quicker than Michael Jackson's at a boy scout jamboree
  
• has the ability to make Dan Straube look like a goal scorer to bad Dan has
  the ability to make himself NOT look like a goal scorer
  

Look for him to show up again during the playoffs when the commish calls in all of those oral favors from years past.

Where is he now?

Player Bio: 15
IRA spy
Origin: Northern Ireland
Education: Marple Sports Arena
Bubble hockey posture, rarely shifts moves like Buffy on skates. Plus minus average is alltime TNHL record.

Player Bio: Smurph McCloskey

Player Bio: Smurph McCloskey
Born: Springfield
Education: Cougar Elementary League, Beast, Cougar High School
Profile: Smooth skater, moves with out the puck, usually a scorer except in
THNL. Traded to team USA for a Pollock and a beef combo.
Enjoys Victoria Secrets Novels and Soph Hops.

-from the archives

Rule Changes for the 2005-2006 Season

The Board is permitting two line passes this year in a effort to speed up the game. Special K can now legally breakout to the opposing teams defensemen.
The goalies can play the puck anywhere. This will encourage some movement out of the sivs.
No crosschecking in front we have already seen one players career ended. Thanks Tree.

This year tournament rosters are required and must be submitted to the Board prior to play. This will eliminate the cheating the Irish have been doing since the tournament started.

Last 15 has been put on waivers this year. We will retire his number prior to play Tuesday.

Also let's all welcome Brian Paterson's brother back from his retirement!

Let's get ready to rumble!

Tonight is opening night for the TNHL season!

Frank will be at the rink at 9:30 to sharpen skates 5.00.

White= wilson, brian patterson's brother, jeff craskey,tommy dolan,adam taylor, frick, daddy pat, liam,dennis siv dennis

Darkies= crabby,jay, chuck, dan, shooter, billy leach, sponge, russ,carl, tree siv

Check your gear , stretch, and dont waste your time watching other people skate on tv.

Buffy may be available to drop the opening puck.