Game Summary - from the Sales guy

A fun and eventful night of hockey for all. The night started a little late due to a "Major Announcement", the coming of another "Britzeky". Yes, after some speculation it was confirmed that Brit and his wife are expecting a bundle of joy. Brit had the joy of the announcement of first child made to his friends & family in a very traditional way; Apparently, Brit's wife told Spongee & Spongee told Brit. Then Spongee went around telling everybody he could think of. Word is, Mother, Father and neighbor to be are very pleased. Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Britzeky, and of course Spongee, on your great news! Brit celebrated the announcement of his coming baby by working on a new play, the give & goo-goo. Fatherhood must agree with Brit, as he lite the scoring lamp repeatedly last night. He also was practicing for fatehrhood by "feeding" the puck to his teammates, who like babies, usually made a mess of it.

The dark team technically won the game (editor's note: won=smoked) last night on the old "Last Goal Wins" call. However, the night was to close to call(editor's note: is he on something?). There was stellar play by Rob "Lester Patrick" Toomey, stepping in and playing goal when his boys needed him. Dennis St Dennis was equally impressive between the pipes, playing behind a defense that makes the Eagles D look dominate. For a momnet it looked like the league had gone "Hi-Tech" with slow motion replay, but then we realized it was Capt'n Dang on a break away at real speed.

There were many missing regulars last night. Some excused & some not. For years we have all known that Siv Pack is Gooffy and now he is down in Disney World applying for that dream job. Fricker could not make it last night for unknown reasons. It is believed his wife put his skates on the top shelf of his basement & he could not reach them. Rusty was off hunting Bambi (we hope that is a deer and not the stage name person of the other 50%). He did show up in time for beer & paid his pennance with a contribution tot he beer inventory. Shooter was thankful for the additional beer as he needed every bit of it to get over his encounter with his mother inlaw, Mrs Robinson.

Tom Dolan & Wojo are still missng as well. It is believed after his succcess last year in an Asian tournament that Dolan is playing hockey back in Thialand or Loas. Wojo made the mistake of cleaning his hockey equipment and it all fell apart. Seems the mold & mildew was the holding everything, except the break away sheild, together. There are the "CORE" Milk Carton Crew of Dennis "The Iceman" Wilson and John "I'll be there" Dunfee missing as usual. Also missing were the TNHL's internal Police force of Jay & Chuck. Not to fear TNHLers, The Commish's office has launch an investigation into the where abouts of Wilson & JD and placed Jay & Chuck on the case.
The have reported thus far some information on Wilson. Following the lead that Wilson is totally involved in Fantasy Football, our investigators have been monitoring the local Fantsy Show Bars. Not the best investigation, but an acceptable excuse to miss TNHL. JD, on the other hand, is a total mystery. He was last seen driving into a parking lot at the Eagles game last month and has disappeared like all hope of the an Eagles playoff run.

There is talk around the league offices that is serving a year suspension for Lack of Substance abuse. Apparently JD has not been available for his quota of beers with TNHLers & the Commish's office will NOT stand for such lack of abuse. With Christmas, the time of miracles, coming we can all hope JD will show on a Tuesday & we can help him reach his quota.

That's it for me TNHLers. Your temporary reporter with a view from the corner.

Game Summary - from the sponge

Well, we all hope Six pack Joey has "copped" a feel from "Mini Mouse."
The play last week was strong and brisk. Crabby is still searching for the reason why Tooms flipped him. Maybe Tooms wanted to change his name to "FLIPPER." Craskey still waiting for his Bonner teammate T.Dolan when will he be back? Dennis Iceman Wilson had a new hip adjustment done so he may be back at the end of the year. Let's not forget Johnny "JD" Dunfee. Are the Club box seats better then running into Shooter? Buckets where are you?
The break away shield guy where are you????

Maybe we should pass a hat around, no Russ not for the other 50% of the people, but for the Siv's sticks. I say we start saving the broken goalie sticks and use them to keep warm during the cold winter months in the parking lot. The lacquer finish will make a great bomb fire.
Capt'n Straws did a great job bringing cold beer, he missed an open net?( who said that). Yeah we all know be on time or "No Beer"

We were all happy for Daddy Pat when he was Blessed with his 2 kids.
Now we have another Daddy in the making... Guess Who???

spongee

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Sixpack

Game Summary - from the crease

Big night... Crabby returns, sticks breaking, bodies flying & beers flowing. With both benches full the game was on.

The Darkies got out to an early lead controling play for much of the early going. The goals came quick & it could have been worse, Tree put a pass on the tape for the Commish who was in his hockey card stance at the back door. Of course he shoots wide, a play that would have Mick rolling over in his dingy. The darkies got some quality play from Johnny "Cocco" Pants along with Kurt "The Hippie Hockey Player". Brit rolled up in his Jag, just to let the Commish know that he is spending some of his signing bonus, set the table for several chances for the dark squad & Quite Brian finally played that average game that we all knew he was capable of. Mark St. Mark was his usual pesky self & could easily pass for Fricker on the ice & Jaybird is still on the rag.

The White boys got things going on a breakaway goal by Chuck, followed by goals from Crafty, Fricker & Daddy Pat to get it close. And then it happened, at exactly 9:21......Once, twice, then on the third try $60 shattered over the crossbar & dropped to the ice below. Shortly after that Crabby got behind the defence. With the speed of the zamboni and the moves of a rod hockey centerman he skated in all alone on Sixpack. As he rolled his wrists & prepared to shoot.......... Tree picked his pocket & went the other way. Crabby showed all that the knee was holding up pretty well when he buried Tree along the boards but it was that kind of night for the toe drag trickster as he broke his stick on the play.

Spongee also managed to get on the score sheet this week after being shut out the last few games. He had the same reaction to scoring as he did when he got the news of Britney Spears' newest video. This goal has cost me my spot in the TNHL as the Commish has sent me for a stint in the minors with The Orlando Tourists.

Now on to Nick's, it's funny what you learn about a guy after a few beers loosen him up. I had no idea there was another 50% of fun even out there. But i'm sure glad to be missing it. And then there's Shooter, who knew he was running a geriatric strip club? Hey Shooter Coo Coo Ka Choo.

See you in two weeks

SIXPACK

Game Summary - from the sponge

Yeah, Welcome back Crabby... Up ended by Tooms and then Toom wasn't satisfied so he broke Crabs stick. At least Dennis St. Dennis Broke his stick because it came apart, splinters at the shaft, then the rest is history.
The White team had the game as a tie. If Brit could have scored instead of hitting Dennis in the chest maybe the dark team could have won...

We all have to say good job to the "BLUE" Commish. A good piece of Ice and Cold Beer. Then comes the Bar...

Its getting late all I can say...

Rusty: Your missing the other 50%...
Fricker: Did Russ just rub my head???
Shooter: Mother-in Laws, why do they have to sniff my shorts and play in my favorite room... Its a long story...


"PLAYERS" at the bar:
White team 6
Dark team 2


That's says it all ...........

Spongee

Frank will be there tonight to sharpen those dull skates!

FRANK WILL BE THERE TONIGHT. BEER WILL BE THERE TONIGHT. CRABBY WILL BE THERE TONIGHT. THE GOLDEN JET WILL BE THERE TONIGHT. NO BEER IF YOUR LATE. IF SIVPACKS PEDIATRICIAN CLEARS HIM HE WILL BE THERE. NO SHOOTING IN THE SIVS VAGINAL AREA TONIGHT.

BRIT MAKE SURE SPONGEBLOB IS ON TIME.

COMMISH

Game Summary - from the creaky back

The boys wre back up to speed this week, the game was wide open with plenty of chances at both ends. Once again the goaltending was outstanding, at least for the first hour. The story is I hurt my back making a save but there is a rumor going around that tells a different story. Word is the real problem was FEAR OF THE SPONGE, first a save on a breakaway, then a rebound shot just wide, followed by a glove save on a blast from between the circles... When Spongee starts shooting at the water bottles & they are not on the bench it is time to re-think my decision to play goalie.

While sitting out the last half hour I noticed some things that may help me later in the season:

• Liam gives but don't go
  
• Daddy Pat may be late getting there but he gets his stick on everything
  
• Fricker's is bigger than the Commish's... I'm talking about his hockey stick you sick bastsrds
  
• Shooter goes but don't give
  
• I'm not sure if Jaybird wears womens clothing but he does use MaxiPads in his skates
  

The back in good shape, just got back from Dr. Feel Good, he snapped me into place & cleared me to play.

Still waiting to hear from the Crabman on when he is returning, this is getting to be like an NBA injury (Editor's note: bite me).

Bumped into Dennis "Cone", "Iceman" Wilson, almost knocked him over because of his cruches. He is recovering nicely from hip surgery & will soon be fitted for velcro sneakers so he can join the Mall Walkers to get his exercise.

Can't give a score so ...

Till Next Week
SIX BACK

In case you guys missed this ...

Derek Boogaard destroys Fedoruk ... Fedoruk must've heard that he got traded back to Philly and wanted to commit suicide.

http://www.nhldigest.com/47/boogaard-crushes-fedoruks-face

Game Summary - from the crease

Well, lets just say the Beer was good, as for the rest of the game... Slow play, weak goals, poor passing & thats it for the highlights.

We did welcome back a few players after a halloween break, Liam, Krafty, & Johnny Rollerpants all returned from duties handing out candy. The Commish also returned after battling cramps last week due to his period.

Play was sloppy most of the night with more than a few bad goals, lets just say the goalies played down to thier competion. The Dark squad skated away with the victory thanks in large part to colorblindness. Thats right, people from Deleware & Cape May Counties have been aware of this for years & now there are pictures. TNHL insiders have dug up yearbook photos from St. Joe's showing Spongee, smiling ear to ear, completely unaware of the color combinations of his clothing.

Shooter, back once again from Peach Bottom, (thats what the girls in the old neighborhood used to call me)scored in the beer frame after yelling to someone named F#$* all night.

We have a commitment from Frank next week, hopefully the dull play was due to the dull skates & things will be better this week!

Hope Jaybird's foot is feeling better by then.

Till next week

SIXPACK

Pat

Pat was feeling left out so here's a couple shots of the big sales guy we all know and love

Game Summary - from the crease

The clocks were turned back this weekend & the extra hour of sleep seemed to work wonders for the TNHL.A fast paced game, loaded with action turned out to be the best game thus far. The White squad fell behind but managed to battle back to within a goal as the doors opened.

The Dark crew, loaded with snipers, came at the whites all night only to be turned away most of the time by "Hurricane Carl" & his son "Tropical Storm Carl jr". Thier determined play rubbed off on the rest of the team, new commer Digger dished passes from the half boards, My Friend Fricker & Color blind Mark wreaked havoc in the Dark zone. Horsham Tom (cyber sub) found the net 7 was solid on D. Shooter returned after 2 weeks off (He was working an "Outage", sounds like some kind of Gay Pride gathering) was as smooth as ever & you will find his name all over the score sheet. Lest we forget Daddy Pat who scored in the Beer Frame after being late for a late start.

The Dark side were relentless, Chuck was right on time & was his usual pesky self around the net. Rusty & Murph (or is he Brian Patterson's other brother)were like towers of strength on the back line. Jaybird played his typical solid game & no doubt ended the evening a plus.

The trio of Britzky, Tree & Rich The Union Painter wre wheeling & dealing all over the ice. The constant pressure led to goals for all three, pushing the Darkies ahead. Spongee was kept off the scoreboard for the first time this season, not because of any great job by the White team, he just forgot to bring his MUSTARD.
The goaltending continues to be top notch as once again the teams combined for less than 16 goals, making us the stars of the game again.

Crabby showed up for Halloween dressed as Crabby without a limp & looks like he is almost ready to rejoin the boys on the ice.

After working up a good sweat the boys enjoyed a few cold ones in the locker room. A thank you must go out to the grounds crew for letting us stay and replace our Canadian Electrolytes with a cold Labatt's.

Till Next Week
SIXPACK