Happy New Year

Story by Daddy Pat:

This week’s skate was one for the dedicated TNHLer’s. Both teams were severely shorthanded and in need of replacement Sivs. Seems many of the TNHLer’s thought this was a vacation week and did not come OR post their lame reasons for missing. Six Pack had an excused absence due to injury; Brit out for Hanukkah

And we all know that if Brit is out, then Curt is out as well. There were notes/postings of missing the week by Opie & Rusty, making their absence acceptable. The remaining MIA skaters are a different story. Missing were Liam, Doug, Commish, Toomey and Johnny Longpants; all of them without proper approvals or replacements. This left the TNHL shorthanded and had all players playing extended shifts, causing many different issues. Jay logged so much ice time that his helmet was over heating causing his shield to fog up to the point of 0% visibility. Jay’s issue has caused him to rethink his choice of shield and he is now considering the options below:





Another effect of the low attendance was having players play out of position and taking on extended roles. Without Doug there to take his EXTRA long shifts, all THNLers had to over stay their welcome on the ice each shift. Without Brit to pass the puck around Shooter had to become a pass happy skater; this is not a role he is comfortable with and he appeared nauseous when on the ice. The Commish’s absence left a void in screaming & barking at Chuck. Seeing that Chuck felt the loss of the Commish’s love and being the dedicated league member he is Quite Brian picked up the slack and verbally hammered Chuck every chance he got. The Lack of Liam this week caused the need for Crabby to take on the role of Peacemaker AND with no Longpants to skate and score from the D position Murph was forced to take on the role and play like Larry Murphy (scoring machine).


Though all the attending THNLers accepted and performed the additional roles with grace and honor; it was an extra burden for this holiday skate. The MIA skaters need to realize that when they decide to miss a week without notice they hurt themselves, they hurt their fellow TNHLers and they hurt the TNHL. So think twice when you decide last minute to go to that Happy Hour, stay home to watch the Flyers, start your Christmas Honey Do List and remember the people that are counting on you. In the meantime; consider yourself all nominated for this week’s TOOLBAG AWARD!

This week we had so many nominees that one bag would not do it; this week’s we are having a Super Duper TOOLSHED Award:



Happy New Year and good Hockey!



Babe by Crabby:

Holiday Skate

Apparently, Apple-tinis cause rink rage. Who knew?

Ho, Ho, lots of Ho's

SOME PEOPLE ARE SO SERIOUS

http://deadspin.com/5868584/how-a-senior-league-hockey-fight-ended-with-one-player-pooping-in-an-opponents-glove

WEEKLY UPDATE

Well I'm back one week & out again, Doc says the best cure might be putting my foot in my mouth so here goes....
Dark crushes White using speed and slick passing, young Craig skated away from the dark defenders like they were Jerry Sandusky walking into a locker room. I have to hand it to Tree, he hung tough even though his team hung him out like he was Christmas Lights. Britter and Curty worked their yin and yang shit pretty well while Opie skated like he was on some kind of Chineese performance enhancing tea or something. Crabby and the Commish chipped in with their usual gritty play getting on the scoreboard while frustrating the whiteys with some on ice observations. Murph was awesome on defense logging huge minutes and saving my ass on a number of occasions.
The White boys fell behind early & were never able to get on track, Crafty had a few goals including two nice breakaways, he was introduced to Tree at the postgame brewfest. Chuck played his typical game; all over on offense but played defense like a lazy eye.... drifting off to one side for no reason. Fricker told me he was sorry for whacking my glove early on saying he was aiming for my head, then he bounced about four pucks off my noggin as the game went on. I'm not sure which was louder Shooter slamming the door at the bench or his Peter Laviolette impersonation after most shifts. Johnny Longpants & Romo were mostly ineffective at both ends of the ice as the score sheet will attest, for one of the few times this season both were on the minus side of the page, Rusty didn't fare much better, it was a tough night. Quiet Brian opened the scoring for the Whites cutting the Dark lead in half at 2-1 early on then had an assist about an hour later on the fifth and final Dark goal.
Curty did a nice job with a dual pack of icy LaBatt's and the ever popular Miller Lite for the boys after the game. Daddy Pat limped in just in time to help carry me out like an old sofa. I'm sitting here with my foot in a walking boot in between ice packs waiting for some therapy for plantar fascial fibromatosis hoping it will get better fast so I can return to work and more importantly return to the TNHL. Either way I will be on hand for our pre-Christmas Skate looking for some inspiration to pen the annual "Skate Before Christmas" Update.

UPDATE: Frank MAY NOT be there tonight

Daddy Patrick said he blew a tire and may not make it to the rink tonight. Good thing Spongie already quit on us tonight because his double-runners were in need of a sharpen.

Good tilt this week.

Hot off the Commish's Desk: We need a GOALIE! Contact Straube if you know anyone!

And now, the boobies: