The Last Game Summary of the Season

What a night! On the final night of the season the temperature was high & so was the attendance. I should have realized it was going to be a night for the women when I went to vote, I brought my 7 year old son with me & naturally he asked me who was I going to vote for. I said I didn't know who do you think I should vote for, he said I should pick Hillary, so I asked him why & he said "because dad, she has nicer cans!"

Then the promotions department comes up with the best idea of the year: MILF night, thats right bring a MILF & the kids get in free. This proved to be a huge success, to the tune of 14 fans, 15 if you count Curty. The Fire Marshal even thought about shutting us down but determined the condensation from the roof would protect us in the event of fire.

And if that was not enough, it was GAME 7. The Commish, wielding his power, cited a little known clause in the TV contract & moved the start time up to 7pm. The old barn looked like it had been used as an out house before the skate, and she is ready to call it a year & what a year it was.

This was one of the best to date, our regulars were a good as ever giving an honest effort every week & our subs/regulars are top notch, I really enjoyed skating for & against you guys.

As far as this weeks game, Crabby buried the game winner into the top of the net, sends the water bottle flying & wins it for the Dark on the last goal of the season.

A big thanks has to go out to The Commish for everything he does throughout the year, you run a great program my friend, I am already looking forward to next season.

THE END

See You Guys Soon
Sixpack

GAME TIME CHANGE - 7PM tonight

We take the ice at 7PM tonight

-Commish

Babe vs. Babe

Pick one!

All Time TNHL Roster

As the end of the season nears, the staff here at the TNHL WEEKLY UPDATE have started to put together an ALL-TIME TNHL roster. With that blessing of the Commish I went to work trying to remember every player ever to grace the ice in an official Tuesday Night Hockey League game. I racked my brain & despite some bong resin was able to come up with some names. I did reach out to a few former players to see if they could help me in my quest.

• I asked #15 if he could recall anyone, he said he only looks forward & doesn't back check. Lasher said he NEVER PAID attention to anyone else.


• One armed Eddie said he was stumped, but he was happy to give us a hand.
  JD said he will check his milk carton.


• Dennis St. Dennis wanted to know which group,which night.


• Glen said remembering the TNHL gives him a back ache, just like the hack that ended his career.


• Cone said all the players were a blur to him.


• Larry Patterson remembered his brother Brian who didn't remember Larry.


• Talked to Tommy Dolan about a weak back, he was no help.


• Bill Albany didn't get to see any faces as he was cross-checking guys in the back.


• Billy Leach has memories by the bucket load.


• Holy Tom didn't spend enough time on the bench to get to know anyone.


• Glen the tall goalie was only able to see the tops of guys helmets.

Here are a few more:

Mick   ·   Jarred   ·   Mike Kelly   ·   Dennis Cahill   ·   Chuck from the first year   ·   Stan   ·   Tig   ·   Vinny   ·   Mark Pompi   ·   Johnny Sprinks   ·   Lil' Dan   ·   Lil' Joe   ·   Lil' Shooter   ·   Lil' Carl   ·   Donny Silver Gloves   ·   Bernie Sweeney   ·   Jim Stireckey   ·   Ray & Pat the sprinkler apprentices   ·   Murph the Irish Dog   ·   Zach Kilgore   ·   Rico   ·   Brendan from Ice Line   ·   Mark the guy that Dennis brought   ·   The Big State Trooper   ·   Neil   ·   The other Brian   ·   Richie Kearns the little Flyers captian   ·   Dan Lucy   ·   The little dude in the Coco's jersey   ·   Tom from Abington   ·   Fats   ·   The goalie from the first week I think his name was Bob   ·   Shane Dunfee   ·   Craig Hedrick   ·   Youngblood the guy Mick hit in the face with the puck about 2 years ago   ·   Bird Cage   ·   Wojo   ·   Stinky Pete   ·   Ed Regan   ·   Quiet Brian's brother in-law   ·   Tommy Albany   ·   Ace   ·   The Goalie that drinks Before the game   ·   The guy that wore those Blue pants oh wait that was FRICKER.


The list is already over fifty names long but I'm sure I missed quite a few. Help me fill in the blanks or give names to some of the guys I described. After we assemble this, maybe we will start a TNHL Hall of Fame or a least put it on the Blog.

-Sixpack

Game Summary

The place was packed with fans this week as THREE die hards took in the action, it turns out this matches the second largest crowd in TNHL history. Rusty's family had held the record for a couple years until Quiet Brian's fan club showed up this past November setting the attendance record at an unbelievable five fans at one game.

The fans that did make it were treated to good game that saw the White squad skate off with the win on the backs of Liam & Tiny Tim. Liam led the way chipping in on offense & playing hard at both ends of the ice saving a sure goal with a huge defensive play in the crease. Tim seemed to score a goal or have an assist on every other shift.

The rest of the White offense also had a good nights with Daddy Pat, Crabby, Fricker & Chuck each picking up multiple points on goals & assists. On D, Hurricane, Murph & Rusty played huge games holding the Dark side to only one goal till almost 10 o'clock & Neil Collins (Brian's dad? uncle? son?) was also a solid contributer.

The darkies had a strong line-up filled with size, speed & skill & at times looked like they were unstoppable They had Wayne Newton (Brit), Kurty Downlow, Crafty Craskey & Quiet Brian creating scoring opportunities, The Commish, Mike the avid reader, & JR creating turnovers, & Spongee creating oddman rushes.

We also welcomed back Johnny Longpants, who missed the last three weeks, word is Johnny needed time off to catch up on some old Cagney & Lacey episodes he found on e-bay.

Tree would be the first to tell you this was not his night, but you would think after keeping his team in the game every week maybe the boys could pick him up a little bit this week. Anyway, it was a fast, fun skate & I'm looking forward to next week.

Sixpack

Game Summary

Well the warm weather has arrived & that can mean only one thing, the Update will be late getting out, sorry about that. Anyway, great game as the Dark squad holds off a hungry White team with a gutsy 4-3 win.

The Bonner Connection came up big for the Darkies as Crafty Craskey & Quite Brian each had a goal & played their usual strong all around game. Brit & Kurty Downlow seemed to be getting back in sync with their passing & BR (Billy , we need to get you a nickname *update: his nickname by decree is JR) was his usual presence on the blueline.

For the Whites the return of Hurricane Carl & the addition of Neil meant a more balanced squad. Daddy Pat's move of Crabby & Tiny Tim to forward helped generate offense & the move paid off with Crabby picking up a goal. Rusty & Hurricane also had a nice goals for the Whites.

The Commish & Big Pappi picked up clutch goals for the Darkies for the second straight week. The score was so low due to the excellent goaltending, with big saves at both ends all night (cough)bullshit(cough).

Mike the avid reader played a solid game on D for the Dark & Spongee was at his cheerleading best & showed his defensive skills. A photo has surfaced of Spongee practicing his shot blocking while in his cheerleading uniform while playing street hockey which may explain his improved defensive skills. Murph & Jay bird teamed up on D for the Whites & Chuck played his usual pesky style.

As the end of the season nears the rumors start, who will be returning next year, for example what's up with Johnny Longpants, has he already signed with another club? Or how about Tree it's rumored he is playing for two summer league teams. And the hottest rumor is Kurty Downlow is ready to sign with an Over 50 team, the hold up, it seems Kurty is demanding a handicap placard for his rear view mirror & the team has to call him "Kurt the Kid"

NEW SIDES NEXT WEEK?
Sixpack